Many of us have grown up in contexts that have put a strong dampener on anger. It isn’t acceptable. It certainly isn’t ladylike. You’re deemed “out of control” when you engage in it. In some families, anger is considered sinful, and thus it can be portrayed as a threat to our eternal future.
But, actually, anger is a natural, instinctive reaction to situations where we feel wronged. What we do with our anger is a very different conversation to the virtue of our authentic experience of anger.
In some instances, fury is an entirely appropriate response to the ways that we, or others, have been wronged. It is the assertion of transgression, of violated boundaries, of the unacceptability of what has happened in the past, in this moment, and in the future. It is the rallying cry for justice, for change, for apology.
There are terrible injustices in the world for which there ought to be more fury.
Our fear of fury is not a virtue. Our willingness to appropriately express our fury toward acts that damage people, or systems that perpetuate injustice toward peoples, is a necessary precondition to changing those acts and those systems.
“Acknowledge your fury. Give it language. Share it in safe places of identification and in safe ways. Your fury is not something to be afraid of. It holds lifetimes of wisdom. Let it breathe and listen.” (Tracee Ellis Ross).